Offsides Podcast
COMING SOON
"Offsides," A podcast for football fanatics. Join Kevin and his co-hosts, former Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Ed Gant, and current high school football player and stats savant Leo Berman, as they cover every aspect of the game.
The Farley Farm Podcast
Kevin Farley has a wife, a couple stepkids (and their friends), a live in nanny, a unique handy man, way too many dogs, and a lifetimes worth of stories leading up to it all. Farley Farm is the ongoing chronicle of "life on the farm" Including but not limited to: a temperamental Japanese chin named Albert, the dead head shitzu named Mumphrey, the three over priced and demanding Pomeranians named pepper, poppy and Doug, the resident rescue mixed breed Gracie, the snowbird chihuahua Hopper, the knuckle head Pug Ernie … and the mischievous- semi washed up actor Persian cat Oscar under the landscape of an Island in Florida and a barn in upsate New York.
FOLLOW FARLEY FARM ON INSTAGRAM:
Gracie is an androgynous hair stylist with a touch of Asperger's, known for pointing out the obvious in socially inappropriate ways. Raised in foster homes and without any financial background, she navigates life with mental health challenges and a strong sense of co-dependency. Working at Supercuts, she met Humphrey, a fellow lost soul with whom she shares a deep connection. As a natural caretaker, Gracie is always quick to recognize when someone is in trouble, offering help and support. Unaware of Humphrey's profound love for her, she cherishes their unique bond. Despite her struggles, Gracie's compassionate nature and keen observations make her a steadfast and caring presence in the lives of those around her.
Poppy and Pepper, married and inseparable since birth, hail from an idyllic all-American suburb where they were the prom king and queen. Talking at a rapid pace, they are always bickering, yet their bond remains unbreakable. Growing up together, they dated in high school, attended college as a couple, and seemed destined for a life free of trauma in their charming, popular, and tight-knit community. However, the stillbirth of their baby cast a shadow over their lives, leaving Poppy with a dark side that occasionally plunges her into depression and mood swings, displaying signs of bipolarity. She oscillates between a fast, high-pitched happy voice and a slow, quiet, sad tone.
Poppy, with her flirtatious nature, has caught the attention of Doug, making Pepper anxious about losing her to him or even to Albert. Despite their nervous personalities and the emotional scars they carry, Poppy and Pepper's deep-rooted connection continues to guide them through life's ups and downs.
Doug, born into obscene wealth in Palm Beach, grew up in a family passionate about horses, with his three brothers becoming professional polo players while he pursued a career as a jockey despite his short stature. Openly gay, Doug's life took a dark turn when he was caught with cocaine and imprisoned, where he was sodomized, leaving him with deep-seated anger issues and a significant chip on his shoulder. Known for his snobby demeanor and mean-spirited nature, Doug's anger often manifests in his "mean queen" persona. He suffers from alopecia lorca, adding to his insecurities. Though he despises Pepper, whom he deems a fake Pomeranian, he harbors a secret love for the dog, a contradiction that further complicates his turbulent emotions.
Mumphrey is a flawed version of Humphrey, possibly an AI robot with limited comprehension of his surroundings. He frequently glitches, struggling to grasp even the simplest concepts, which leaves him confused and disoriented. With a childlike demeanor, Mumphrey navigates the world with a mix of innocence and bewilderment, unable to fully process the complexities around him. Despite his challenges, he possesses a unique charm that endears him to those who encounter him.
Gretel, a lively exchange student from Germany, often bursts into animated German, leaving those around her bewildered by her enthusiastic exclamations. Her distinctive German/British accent adds to her charm and eccentricity. Though her words are frequently misunderstood, her playful nature and infectious energy make her a beloved presence among her peers. Gretel delights in interacting with everyone, her spirited personality shining through any language barrier.
.png)
Ernie, the son of a famous Italian boxer who met a tragic end in Miami under mysterious circumstances, is haunted by his father's legacy. Suspected to have mob ties, his father was known as a dirty fighter, a shadow Ernie struggles to escape. Determined to prove his toughness, Ernie is hyperactive and constantly looking for fights, driven by an insatiable need to live up to his father's fearsome reputation. With a tough guy persona and a bit of a Jersey housewife vibe, Ernie navigates life with a chip on his shoulder, fiercely defending his honor and grappling with the weight of his family's tumultuous past.
Humphrey was a mellow, bass-playing deadhead who lived life on the edge, marked by a brain disorder and a history of heavy drug use. His love for Gordon Lightfoot and his slow, deliberate movements were characteristic of his laid-back nature. Never married and without children, Humphrey's heart belonged to Gracie, a love that transcended his chaotic lifestyle. Tragically, he passed away from a fentanyl overdose at a John Mayer concert, but his constant high state enabled his spirit to transfer into a spectral form he called Momphrey. Now a ghost, he continues to hang by a thread, navigating the afterlife with the help of medical marijuana. Despite his circumstances, Humphrey's undying love for Gracie and his mellow demeanor remain unchanged.
Albert, a distinguished 78-year-old British gentleman, has led a life marked by adventure, intellect, and indulgence. Born and raised in London, he explored the world extensively, accumulating a wealth of fascinating stories and a passport brimming with stamps from every continent. Now residing in a stylish pied-à-terre on Manhattan's Upper East Side, Albert enjoys the refined comforts of city life, his apartment adorned with artifacts from his travels. Despite his age, Albert maintains a youthful exuberance, particularly in matters of the heart, earning him a reputation as a notorious romantic. Intelligent and well-read, his conversations are rich with witty remarks and insightful observations, captivating any audience with tales of his adventures. Twice divorced and childless due to a sterile sperm count, his love life has been as colorful as his travels. A managed alcoholic, Albert adheres to a strict five o'clock martini ritual, symbolizing his disciplined yet indulgent lifestyle. He occasionally slips a pain pill to cope with a herniated disk, a condition he stubbornly refuses to have surgically treated. Despite this discomfort, he masks his pain with stoicism, fearing the loss of independence and vitality that surgery might entail. Albert Whitmore's life is a rich tapestry of experiences, marked by intelligence, charm, and a touch of irreverence.